Sooooo, falling in love with someone when the feeling wasn’t anywhere close to be being mutual, probably wasn’t one of my smartest moves (d’oh!). I don’t regret the feeling as being in love is amazing and I've been lucky enough to experience it three times over (the other two times were thankfully mutual); and with spring on the horizon, I couldn't think of a better time to take steps to move on. A situation which causes more sadness and tears than happiness and laughter isn't how one should spend a life. I'm really not sure what life has on store for me, but I'm looking forward to this new adventure.
Something else I've found freeing is being cut off. When you're someone like me who apologises far more than you should, having someone remove you from all existence is indeed incredibly hurtful, but also freeing in a weird way. You can sometimes find yourself shackled by the way other people view you and perceive your behaviour; more often than not, their minds are already made up in regards to your guilt and although you may know in your heart said perception is not at all accurate, you can't change peoples' minds and you'll exhaust yourself trying to do so.
I'm just too old for all that and I can't carry on apologising for things that never happened. I just have to trust whatever the outcome, is for the best; continue to be the person I know I am and love and embrace the people around me who know the real me.
All day long, this!
I’ve always been a bit of a pessimist and I think I’ll always be more inclined to be more cautious with things, but what I’ve recently found myself doing is looking on the bright side, turning the other cheek and carrying on with my life, staying positive. So now that I’ve finished with my pre spring clean, I’m going to have a lie down and eat some cake (mmmm, cake).
I hope you guys also have a pre spring clean. Trust me, it does the world of good!
‘til next time.
Love and hugs,